A Soup By Any Other Name

We at the Egotist’s Club understand the importance of naming children, stories, and the characters thereof.  We have examined the significance of what members of a subculture call themselves.  We know that a rose’s scent would, perhaps, strike us differently if it happened to be newly christened a skunk perennial, carrion blossom, or putrid posy.

Hence my wish to consult with you before naming a soup I made this week.  After some research, I determined that it was a soup (liquid food, made by boiling/simmering meat/fish/vegetables with various added ingredients: a useful penumbra)* and not a stew (same ingredients, more or less, but with less liquid and a longer cooking time), ragout (spicy French stew made to “restore the appetite;” rather fussy), chowder (thick soup featuring cream, potatoes, and an element of pork fat, typically), or bisque (thick soup, typically made with cream and pureed to a smooth texture; often featuring seafood).  It’s also not bouillabaisse, cioppino, minestrone, mulligatawny, or potage, according to this handy little soup glossary.

But what is it?  I use tomato soup as a base and add petite diced garlic/oregano/basil-flavored  tomatoes, peeled strips of zucchini, and shrimp; each bowl is topped with provolone cheese and fresh basil, with bread close at hand.  Naming all the elements gets long and clunky; mentioning “that tomato soup with all the things added” stays long and gets vague to boot.  An acronym of Basil-Oregano-Garlic Shrimp-Provolone-Tomato-Tomatoes-Zucchini gives us “BOGSPTTZ,” which doesn’t sound promising.

Some part of me wants to call it Eintopf or Booyah, but the first is vague and the latter is not accurate; this is no community-wide 50-gallon kettle of stew.

What seems both accurate and appetizing?  “Tomato Soup, Heavily Edited”?  “Loaded Tomato”?  “Tomato Gallimaufry”?  The recipe cards demand an answer!

*In the course of my research, I also learned that “soup” is a slang term for nitroglycerin.  The More You Know!  Bear in mind when trying out strange new recipes!


4 thoughts on “A Soup By Any Other Name

  1. My family has a bad track-record for naming foods. We have: pink stuff, austin-dogs, hockey-pucks, and goo-on-toast.
    I will, therefore, offer no suggestion. It does sound tasty, though.

    • You know, my mum makes a dish that I call “chicken stuff with rice/noodles” when I’m lazy and “chicken goulash” when I’m not. Very unlike the Hungarian definition of goulash, but oh well.

      Dad used to make chipped beef on toast, which I always called “stuff on toast,” but hasn’t for some time.

      WHAT, pray tell, are hockey-pucks? In fact, what are all four of those things?

      • Sounds intriguing.

        I fear the reality will be far less exciting than the speculation. Goo-on-toast is chipped beef. We also call it S.O.S. from my father’s navy days, but the translation of S.O.S. in this context is even less appealing than “goo.”

        Pink stuff is a frozen… uh… thing. A mixture of whole-berry cranberry sauce, whipped cream, pineapple and pecans. It is very tasty, and very, very pink.

        Hockey-pucks are salmon croquettes. Before my mother acquired an oven worthy of her culinary talents, she used to burn things, a lot. Hockey-pucks were usually very tasty, but also very black. Now they are a nice golden-brown, but the name stuck.

        Austin-dogs are simply hot-dogs with pimento cheese. My brother, as a child, assumed he invented them and thus named them after himself. 🙂

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