Yesteryear: Variable Spelling

Dere Friende,

It is only the dictionary, that dictator, which dictates which letters shall comprise a word. In the complicated old days, as I am sure most of you know, this was not so. If a word sounded a certain way, you recreated the sound with the letters that seemed best to you. Which led to widespread creativity and mass confusion. With the enormous number of words in English, and the quantity of dialects directing pronunciation, I am sure it was an entertaining exercise to read the documents of the day. You’d have to be constantly on your feet (mentally…brains have feet…oh dear…metaphor problems…), but there doesn’t seem to be an resentment for the trouble authors caused readers.

And then some busybody wrote a dictionary. Took him his whole life. Poor monkey. And a side effect of his interference was the codification of spelling. Not very systematic, I’m afraid. After all, discrepancies in spelling rules wreck the brains of foreigners. For example (even though you don’t need it):

I before E…for the most part. Except when there’s a C nearby, then mostly you can disregard this. Mostly.

GH says “ooo” , “uh” and “f”.  Naturally (Ugh course?)

Clearly this wasn’t thought (aw) through (oo) ghully. (f)

So, why should we remain slaves to the rules of a tired, cold, unpaid dictionary writer who just picked the spelling that he preferred?
Let us open the floodgates and accept some slightly less “orthodox” spellings.

Like these (Specifically after 1:11)

 

((((ps. I don’t actually think this is a good idea. Unimaginable chaos, of course. But it’s funny.))))

 

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2 thoughts on “Yesteryear: Variable Spelling

  1. Be sure to turn off the auto edit and auto correct before attempting to spell creatively. 🙂 A page full of squiggly red lines would not enhance the writing experience.

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