Tuesday with Thalia: The Job Hunt

In the last 6 months, I have sent about 105 resumes. Figuring for my powers of exaggeration, but factoring a forceful and concerted attempt at accuracy, call it 97. I have a file full of resumes; one page summaries of my teaching and of my orchestral experience, two Curriculi Vitae, and dozens of cover letters. I write professional but personal emails to all and sundry. I provide these people with everything they could possibly need to know more about me than my stand partner. (Which is an odd position in an orchestra. They’re not always friends, but they know your quirks and habits as well as your family does.) I give a pretty clear picture of who I am, even before I walk into an interview.

I have had 7-10 interviews for my trouble. It’s not a great rate of return, but it’s a tough market. Everyone needs a job, and everyone is hiring, but nobody is hiring…me…. which is peculiar, but there it is. Perhaps companies are being choosy and I am too quirky. After all, I have deep purple nails, burgandy sparkly glasses, and a haywire sense of the ridiculous. Well, it’s no use crying over spilled milk, or 8 hour interview days that administer math tests and then don’t hire you.

The thing is, all these interviewers ask the Dumb Thing. Now, I have been an interviewer too. Some questions get you lots of helpful information, and some questions get you nothing you didn’t know by looking at them. But after asking questions that led to dead ends and misrepresentations one year, I changed the questions the next year. Seems a logical thing to do. Nevertheless, from these people who work for much larger corporations than I did, I get the silliest question.

Tell us about yourself.

Grrrrrrrrrr…..

I try reversing a lot. “What would you like to know?” Because really. I mean to say! It would be much easier to tell them them who I am not, than who I am. So I have made a list of the things I am not. I think it narrows the field considerably. You know the story of the sculpter who was asked how he created such a beautiful marble elephant? He said “It’s easy! I just chip away all the marble that doesn’t look like an elephant.” So that is how we shall sculpt an idea of me. I’ll show up like a negative on film.

I am not an entymologist.

I am not a herpetologist either.

I am not neutral. (hehehehehehehe)

I am not dull, bland or narrow.

I am not fond of mathematics, but arithmatic might be ok occasionally.

This is really working! So, my friends, who aren’t you?

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12 thoughts on “Tuesday with Thalia: The Job Hunt

  1. May you not only find a job, but find the right job for this time in your life.

    As for what I am not? That is a harder question for me than I would have thought. Hmm. I am no longer a cynic, I am not cut our for a medical profession, and I am not, despite appearances, the horrible heffalump!

  2. i am not an office prisoner. I am not concerned with being famous. I am not professional in that cold, dismissive, precisely pleasant way that one encounters everywhere. I am not fat, nor thin. 🙂

  3. HEY! As of today, I am employed! Jubilare, you are so sweet! I have two part time jobs doing things I love, while I build my violin studio, which is finally showing signs of life.
    DJT, you are not dull, either. You are not too serious, or too giddy…

  4. I am not a bachelor. I am not an actor. I am not the Count of Monte Cristo. I am not a number! (“I am a free man!” “Hahahahaha!”) I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered.

  5. Congratulations on getting work, Thalia!

    And haha… this is a great idea, this negative definition. I possibly should not be trying my hand at it while sleepy, but… I am not a man. I am not a mouse. I am not particularly down to earth. I am not overly logical, nor am I short on powers for imaginative revelry. I am not nearly as good at music as I would like to be. I am not yet published; I am also not sure I can live and die regret-free without changing that.

    • Go get ’em Jenna. If you want to be published, then never say die. You could start with self publishing via kindle and sort of build your audience…some members of my family are doing that. It’s cool because it’s free and easy to do in a couple of hours.

      • Thanks, Thalia. 🙂 That may just happen eventually. I’m glad it’s working out for your family! If you don’t mind sharing: got an Amazon link for their book(s)? No guarantees, but I wouldn’t be opposed to at least taking a look and seeing if that’s something I’d be interested in buying/reading… authors need all the help they can get, after all. 😉

  6. Congratulations on the job(s)!!!!!! Calloo! Calay!

    As excess stone . . . I am not a mechanic. I am not a giraffe. I am not a mechanic-giraffe, but I hope that such a thing exists somewhere! I am not Frenchman. I am not self-sufficient.

    And the most important negative in my life . . . I am not near you!!!! This makes me sad.

    • That is a bad nagative. It is, however, much more likely to be a changeable negative with employment than without! So rejoice!
      I want to write stories about a mechanic giraffe. This is a fantastic flight of fancy.

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