My favorite Tolkien artist has been doing a lot of lovely work lately, which has inspired several Maedhros fangirl rambles to my friends (thanks for humoring me, really!). Which in turn reminded me of a silly thing my friends and I put together spring break freshman year. We planned a convention for the maimed heroes of fiction (including a number of our own original characters), complete with seminar speakers, workshops, and guest list. I bring it to you now, for your entertainment and edification.
I’ve left the list just as it was. It’s fairly hilarious. For example, I highly doubt some of these people would take kindly to being labeled cripples–what were we thinking? (Those are also probably all the same people who’ve overcome their physical limitations, and thus are not anyone you want to be offending…) Also, a note on velcro: we figure it would be a convenient replacement for laces, zippers, buttons, clasps, and all those other fastenings you just can’t manage with one hand. However, the distinctive *scrrrrrrrrrrtch* sound it makes probably does kill all credibility and awesomeness of image when you walk into the tavern and remove your cloak. Yeah, we’re a bit disturbed.
The Maimed Hero’s Summit
List of Attendees
Prince Barrick of Shadowmarch
Marcus Flavius Aquila
Mr. Rochester—blind, missing an arm
Edward Elric—right arm, left leg
Darth Vader—both arms, both legs, various
Fai D. Flourite
Corwin of Amber (temporarily)
Other—Psychological Trauma/Cool Scars/Etc.
The Phantom of the Opera—scarred face
Lt. Pullings—scar across face
Brennon Caldwell—psychological trauma
Inigo Montoya—scars on face
Prepare to Die!—Planning Your Perfect Revenge: Inigo Montoya
Living Limbless Q & A Session
Accepting Your Loss and Moving Onward: Llew Silverhand
Madness and You—A Simple Guide: When and How: Barrick of Shadowmarch
Coping with Blindness
It’s Closer than You Think—Adjusting to Reduced Depth Perception
Pain Management—10 Tricks of Highly Stoic People
Taking Up Arms (Prosthetics Fitting)
Left-handed Sword Technique: Maedhros
Physical Therapy—Just because it’s gone doesn’t mean it can’t atrophy!
Cool Scars Contest