Taking Up Arms and Velcro

My favorite Tolkien artist has been doing a lot of lovely work lately, which has inspired several Maedhros fangirl rambles to my friends (thanks for humoring me, really!).  Which in turn reminded me of a silly thing my friends and I put together spring break freshman year.  We planned a convention for the maimed heroes of fiction (including a number of our own original characters), complete with seminar speakers, workshops, and guest list.  I bring it to you now, for your entertainment and edification.

I’ve left the list just as it was.  It’s fairly hilarious.  For example, I highly doubt some of these people would take kindly to being labeled cripples–what were we thinking?  (Those are also probably all the same people who’ve overcome their physical limitations, and thus are not anyone you want to be offending…)  Also, a note on velcro: we figure it would be a convenient replacement for laces, zippers, buttons, clasps, and all those other fastenings you just can’t manage with one hand.  However, the distinctive *scrrrrrrrrrrtch* sound it makes probably does kill all credibility and awesomeness of image when you walk into the tavern and remove your cloak.  Yeah, we’re a bit disturbed.

The Maimed Hero’s Summit

List of Attendees

Amputees—Fingers

Frodo

Eleanor Robinson

The Wind-witch

Amputees—Hands/Cripples

Eugenides

Maedhros

Beren

Llew Silverhand

Luke Skywalker

Lord Blakeney

Varden

Prince Barrick of Shadowmarch

Benedict (Amber)

Amputees—Legs/Cripples

Kellen Firkin

Captain Ahab

Mad-Eye Moody

Falen

Reggie Fenyx

Leith

Marius

Marcus Flavius Aquila

Gip

Hyppolyte

Multiples

Mr. Rochester—blind, missing an arm

Edward Elric—right arm, left leg

Darth Vader—both arms, both legs, various

Lavinia—tongue, hands

Blind

Gloucester

Paul Atreides

Koral

Tegid

Martine Desroubins

Matt Murdock

Jim Dunbar

Marque Skyeyes

Susie Hendrix

Oedipus

Dikiaous

Roy Mustang

Fai D. Flourite

Hatori Sohma

Corwin of Amber (temporarily)

Other—Psychological Trauma/Cool Scars/Etc.

The Phantom of the Opera—scarred face

Firesong—scarred face/arm

Lt. Pullings—scar across face

Brennon Caldwell—psychological trauma

Valian—star-shaped scar

Inigo Montoya—scars on face

Archibald Craven—hunchback

Quasimodo—hunchback

Seminars

Prepare to Die!—Planning Your Perfect Revenge: Inigo Montoya

Living Limbless  Q & A Session

Accepting Your Loss and Moving Onward: Llew Silverhand

Madness and You—A Simple Guide: When and How: Barrick of Shadowmarch

Coping with Blindness

It’s Closer than You Think—Adjusting to Reduced Depth Perception

Pain Management—10 Tricks of Highly Stoic People

Workshops

Taking Up Arms (Prosthetics Fitting)

Left-handed Sword Technique: Maedhros

Fighting Blind

Physical Therapy—Just because it’s gone doesn’t mean it can’t atrophy!

Booths

Velcro Booth

Cool Scars Contest

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3 thoughts on “Taking Up Arms and Velcro

    • Yes, I have seen that. Poor Maedhros, how frustrating to be maimed in an age when laces were all the rage! See, we’re on to something with the velcro! Or not…

      Also, I was reminded of our seminar by your painting “It’s no use”–clearly Maedhros attended our physical therapy session! (No gimpy arms there!)

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