Me and Myself

In undergrad, one of my friends once tried to explain to his mother that he was too busy to come home very often.

His mother, being a wise woman, raised a wry eyebrow and retorted, “Well then, you had better get holy quickly, and bilocate!”

Bilocation is one of those spiritual gifts that everyone should receive. To be fully present, physically, mentally, and spiritually, in two places at once . . . . isn’t that the dream of every child? (On a whim, I googled images of “bilocation” and got only creepy drawings of “astral projection”. These two should not be confused.)

Bilocations would make school infinitely easier.

We could get homework done while sleeping! We could have social life and an academic life! While sleeping! (Are you catching on to theme here?)

Not to mention, being in two places at once would just be pure awesome.

This time of life – young and trying to make our own home – is a very fun and freeing period. We can do what we want, hang out when and where we want, go to bed when we want, stay in beds as we want, clean the bathroom when we want . . . .

And therein lies the rub. Why must I spend all my time taking care of myself?

It takes so much energy to cook a meal for just one person. Not to mention doing the dishes.

Laundry? Ha! I laugh in the face of your folding procedures!

This is when I miss being with a family the most. I had to think of – and take care of – everyone else. But they took care of me, so I didn’t have to worry over myself very much.

Being in two places would probably be put to use first in catching up on sleep. But second, it would be used to take care of all those little details of taking care of oneself.

The problem is, how?

Saints bilocated to do the will of God. Many were seen both at prayer and doing good works around the villages at the same time.

Most famous of the Bilocaters is Sister Maria de Agreda, who never left her convent in Spain yet visited and evangelized to what is now Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona. When missionaries arrived in those areas, they were shocked when the Indians calmly recited the Catechism, and told tales of a blue nun who had taught them.

She is honored in society by having a wine named after her.

But all these gifted, Holy Ones seem to have one trait in common: they did not need extra time to do their dishes. Or sleep. In fact, they did not seem to need sleep!

They were all too busy talking to God and prancing about doing cool things. They barely seem to think of themselves at all!

Ahh . . . . that is it.

As an egotist, I am not sure I can imitate them very well. But at least now I have a specific method to work on.

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly.

And people can defy mortal physics because they forget their mortal coils!


One thought on “Me and Myself

  1. I’d really like to forget my mortal coils. They can be just like shackles.
    But the only bilocation I have heard rumored lately is my brother’s roommate who is said to bilocate as the Angel of Death if you spill your sherry. Needless to say, I am very very careful not to do so.

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