Today’s an extra. A freebie. The appendix of the calendar. Shouldn’t it be a holiday? I think today is a holiday.
On Leap Day, all over the world, activity should be suspended. Suspended in mid air like that moment at the top of a ballet dancer’s pirouette (yes, I mean like Vaslav Nijinsky). In fact, decorations and figurines should be suspended in all manner of unlikely places. While we’re celebrating the suspension, we should festoon all bridges, and thank all stop lights doing heroic duty through all manner of weather on the thinnest possible cords.
When I am Epic High Empress of Everywhere, there will be suspension. Bridges, leaps, and dissonance. (see below for the most hilarious explanation of musical suspensions and passing tones I have ever seen…)
Not only that, but there shall be games! In Central Park we will hold a gigantic Leap Frog competition. Pole vaulting will be held in Times Square, and crazy acrobatics will take place (with enormous mattresses underneath) in Washington DC on the Mall.
Neil Armstrong, that mighty leaper for mankind, will hold a place of honor at the banquet. For there will be feasting. Yea though it be Lent, there will be a feast.
A feast for the extra days allotted to mankind. A feast for the superfluous flourishes of Creation. A feast of thanksgiving for all the high and lofty little things just like the extra minutes that add up into this day.
Happy Leap Day, my friends! Celebrate!
Here’s your music theory lesson of the day. Forgive him his pomposity. He thinks he’s being informative