There are a great number of signs in this world.
Big signs. Little signs. Silly signs. Practical signs. Serious signs. Funny signs. Punny signs. Advertising signs. Convincing signs. Confusing signs.
Most of the time, signs just amuse me.
By my house there used to be a large billboard that proclaimed “Tall, strong, outdoor type. Looking for a solid relationship” and a phone number. I had to explain to my mom that this was an advertisement for the billboard itself. She laughed.
When I visited my Alma Mater last year, which is in the middle of redneck-town, I passed a sign of advertisement that almost might have worked on me.
I almost stopped to ask how exactly this exchange worked, but I was running late.
In the same said town, there was a small country church with an old board out front on which they would put inspirational sayings. At one point, their slogan was,
“Aspire to Inspire before you Expire!”
Now, despite the peppy ring to the phrase, this is not exactly solid theology! As Thalia put it, “If only they had used the root spero (hope) instead of spiro (breathe)!”
However, the best – in the sense that they are the worst – signs I have ever seen are to be discovered here, in the intensely deep south.
On the back of a Security Company van was inscribed, “God is Not the Only One Watching You”.
Yes sir. That certainly make me want to hire you!
(Ahhhh! No! Run away!)
But this was topped just last week, when a new billboard went up on my route to work. As I have to concentrate on driving, unfortunately I cannot take a photo. But I promise you that it exists.
In all its punny, absurd, horrible goodness.
It is an advertisement for a funeral home. Named, ever so cleverly, Jim’s Funeral Home.
And the tag line?
“CREMATION: Don’t get buried in debt!”
Well, I am convinced!