In Which There is a Wurm

And with “wurm”, I denote “dragon”.

Frequently, finding fun in formative exercises is  . . . formidable.

Providentially, I possess a professor whose prose and poetry alike is alive with amusement. His assignments are always helpful and hilarious. Most recently, our “research” required that we write a in the meter of meticulous magisters of old.

Explicitly, of Old English.

And Old English, whether in epic, ode or elegy, relied not on rhyme, but on the associations of alliterations.  Also recognized as “back-rhyming”, or words matching the beginning rather than the ending reverberations.

This form, so unusually unalike from those we are familiar with, also involves a severed line, (a caesura,) and at least three stressed alliteratives.

As Thalia and I have theatrically and eruditely elected to notate it, “boom boom // BOOM crash”. (Or, “boom crash // BOOM boom”. Or “crash boom // BOOM boom”. Both these choices are correct.)

Wilbur, about whom I wrote before, works this form exquisitely.


do not.

Mine lacks elegance and aim. My versification is a varied, though valiant, version. Bluntly, it smacks of Dr. Seuss meeting Beowulf.

However, it hits a note of evident humor. And hence, I, as an Egotist, am obliged to advertise it.

(This is thanks to Thalia and Terpsichore, who inspired, assisted, amused and indulged me.)



Call Center Crisis

“My monsieur or madam

your MasterCard’s datum

Muddles our mainframe

in a manner most inane;

It deliberately declines

to deliver its fines.

And when we do

whisk it through

Our ears oscillate

from the audibly irate

Contraption which credits

each card with debits.

The established exchange

expects to arrange

Some gold or goats

or globalized notes!

What? When? Eh,

why, you say

Your piled plethora

of prized profit  has a

Dead dragon atop it?

Dear, dear, do drop it.

Can you not carry out

(with courage or clout)

Heaps from the hoard:

a heavenly sword,

Goblets or gems

or gullible golems?

That body so billious

has blocked all access?­

An option we offer,

a not ominous proffer,

Features the following

fellow and allowing:

Our knight will negate,

and nicely eradicate,

The compromising corpse.

For compensation, of course,

Additional to the account,

that accepted amount ,

For the bling that you bought,

and bluntly you ought

To bring to our banks.

Bye-bye, and thanks!”


4 thoughts on “In Which There is a Wurm

  1. Oooh, good call on adding the “bling” line.

    Clearly we should make a Dr. Seuss-esque volume of this…can I assign it to the Traveling Scriptorium?

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