Peachy: How are you?
Me: Oh, you know…battling the demons of laziness and distraction.
Peachy: How are you conquering these demons?
Me: …I’m not.
Peachy: Oh. Well, when you figure it out…let me know the rites of the exorcism…
Me: …and we can perform them hourly.
Peachy: …if so infrequently.
Me: Well, that’s about how often you realize “Oh! Hey! I’m in battle!”
That about sums it up.
Sometimes I think that I should pray a prayer against road rage (one particular sort of wickedness that plagues me, especially when I get lost in Ann Arbor for the 27th time). I once tried to write such a prayer, but since found that when anger strikes, it’s easier to make use of the words and forms already in my head. So I end up singing the Te Deum that I learned around age five or six. It doesn’t make me less disoriented, but it’s the most efficient way to turn my mind from confusing roads and bad drivers and my own failure to God, the Church triumphant, and Christ’s humiliation and exaltation.
But laziness and distraction beset me more often and more insidiously than anger on the roads. What’s the best way to combat it? All I can come up with is “a really strict deadline.”