Baby Loon

I am inordinately proud of this poem.

Whenever I read at it, sunshine and lady-bugs start to dance around my imagination like little fairies of happiness.

This poem brings tears of wonder to my eyes and a thrill of joy to my heart. It delights my soul.

 

I did not write this poem.

 

My baby sister wrote this poem.

 

I have been bugging her to write a story for me, (since Thalia was given all her drawings, ahem!).

So one day, this seven-year old munchkin asked mother for permission to “write on the computer”. When she was done, the child – hereafter to be refered to as “Baby Loon” –  handed mom this ‘story’.


Black at night, sunny in the day,

I wish, I wish God, help me to pray.

I want to do what is good for you,

Help me, help me, day by day.

I want to get to heaven soon,

I hope to meet your parents too.

I wish, I wish you can help me soon,

I am crying like a baby loon.

I can hardly wait to see you.

I really want to see you soon.

Come down from heaven into my heart,

And make me thankful all of my days.

 

*wipes away tears of pride*


You did not think that you would be getting two bad poem posts in succession, did you?

Not that they are bad bad, just mediocre bad.


But honestly, for a seven-year old, this is pretty darn good piece of poetry!

Her subject is rather blase, but she handles it like a simple, personal child-like prayer. Which is exactly what it is.

She demonstrates a natural linguistic rhythm and meter, mainly iambic tetrameter or pentameter. And a nice flow, and something resembling a rhyme scheme is in place.

She even manages to use a non-cliche poetic metaphor!

Come on, how often have you read about crying baby loons in poetry?


Then again, I am completely and unabashedly biased.

Oh, my sweet little Baby Loon is all growing up and writing poetry . . . .


I need to start compiling a reading list for her, to encourage and develope  these natural skills!

Let’s see, Browning, Lovalace, Herrick, Belloc, Johnson . . . and then by Highschool she will be ready for Hopkins, Eliot, Pound, and Milosz.

Yep! That is The Plan.

 

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4 thoughts on “Baby Loon

  1. Pingback: Questing « Egotist's Club

  2. I see I forgot to comment on this when I read it some time ago. Apologies for the delay. I merely wish to express my sincere admiration and delight in your kid sister’s poetry. It’s simple, it’s pure, it’s beautiful, and I can feel the Holy Spirit returning your Baby Loon’s love a millionfold.

    Don’t forget Macdonald and Chesterton! I’m trying to manage the reading of my nephews, but I only see them once or twice every few weeks. They’re familiar with the beginnings of Narnia, and I’ve been giving them lots of Wishbone books to introduce them to classics. And when I can, I read them Margaret Hodges’ Saint George and the Dragon. Here’s hoping something sticks!

  3. Pingback: Thanksblogging « The Warden's Walk

  4. Pingback: A Long-Unexpected Illustration | Egotist's Club

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