You are precious, priceless, and deeply loved.
You have a heart more vast and luminous than the Grand Canyon, and nothing can alter that.
Unfortunately, having such an awe-inspiring heart makes it easier for people to kick cans or drop litter into it. A heart, by its very nature, will always be a target.
But that is because the people who do that are stupid and refuse to see, and so those people are to be pitied the more for missing out on YOU.
To put it more practically, being so beautifully sensitive means that you are also so painfully sensitive.
The openness to the world that we – having been blessed to be raised in loving, healthy, whole environments – have cultivated in ourselves, leaves us without the protection of cynicism, or even “disillusionment”. Instead, we must see life as it really is. (To paraphrase the Discworld witches, seeing what really is, is an altogether much harder
And that sucks.
Truly. Many of us seem to be struggling right now. I think it is something particular to this generation.
Yes, I know, generation upon generation have suffered, sacrificed, and died before us. But something seems different about this generation.
For one thing, as we come out of that Grand Era of baby boomers, technology, and “reason”, we as a group have been left looking for the “unreasonable”, the mysterious, and wonderful. (Also spelled, for clarification purposes, as “wonder-full”.)
This is my personal theory as to the prevalence of “New Age” isms. After so many years believing in NASA and other modern progresses, people were drawn to New Age thingies simply wanted to be able to see the sacred and beautiful in ordinary things. And actually have something considered sacred and beautiful. And mysterious and wonder-full and awe-full.
“New” Age? Pfft.
Christians have been believing – and acting upon! – that for the past two thousand years. Its called a Sacrament, people!
Which brings me back to original point; we, as young Christian adults, seem to have a strange malady these days.
It is a little bit like ennui, combined with homesickness and compounded by chronic job searching.
I suppose I must admit that it is likely other generations have felt this before. But pray, give me leave to wax hyperbolic about the trials and tribulations close to my heart!
Even Economists – those perilous number wizards- are insisting that this generation is having a ridiculously hard time finding jobs and paying off student loans and generally making ends meet for long enough that we can feel like adults.
And this intensifies just our original trouble.
Because the ennui-homesickness-loss feeling is by now a part of who we are, and it started a long time before most of us even began to look for real jobs. It seems to be part – to paraphrase one of my favorite books, The Blue Sword - a feeling of not belonging, a strong desire to find a place where familiarity and wonder coincide. And part a fear of the discomfort and incongruity that such a place evokes.
Even those of our generation who are not Christian seem to be feeling it: this odd mix existential angst, immediate material insecurity, and the throbbing attraction of anything that promises it has a meaning.
Which is not usually the most comfortable of positions.
And it offers very little in the way of practical happiness.
Whatever you are facing right now, remember that you are a child of God.
And that I think you are AWESOME.
And anyone who thinks differently is being blind.
I will be insulted if you distrust my opinion that much!
(So will God, but I cannot put him on the same level as myself. That would be a stretch, even for an Egotist!)
In any case, beloved, breath deeply, eat healthy, sleep well, and live wonderfully.
P.S. Some more Chesterton for
encouragement summation of our path.
The Men of the East may spell the stars
And times and triumphs mark,
But the Men marked with the Cross of Christ
Go gaily in the dark.
~ excerpt from the Ballad of the White Horse